I forgot myself.

It’s been really long since I last posted something. Or even wrote something. So many things happened last months that I forgot who I was and what I was supposed to do, to be. I fell in love with the same guy all over again and then I found HIM. A new, adventurous love that swept we off my feet and I got lost. In his life, in his eyes… I got lost and didn’t want anyone to find me. I forgot how to write because I was no longer sad all the time. I was happy.

Then came the drama. We were never meant to be. He was free and I … I had too many things to take care of. So I had to leave. He didn’t need me. I was sucking the happiness out of him because I didn’t have my own.

Now I am lost again and trying to find my way back to what I was. I have to write in order to feel something. But I can’t. I am going back to my first love. I will always carry him in my heart but now… now I am using him to feel.. something. Pain.

I forgot who I am. And I can’t find anyone who can help me remember….

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